Notes on the quiet side of money.
Short, honest essays on why smart people get stuck with money — and what behavioural research actually says about getting unstuck.
Would charging for energy healing be a form of good or bad Karma and why do think so?
Charging for energy healing feels like a spiritual question. Here's what's actually driving the guilt, and one thing to try today.
- Self-employed
Can someone make a living by leading spiritual retreats, such as yoga and meditation?
You want retreat leading to be your whole income. Here's what your brain gets wrong about the numbers, and one thing to do this week.
- Spending & shame
Streamflation is quietly draining your account, and your brain is letting it happen
Streaming prices keep creeping up. Here's the mental trick that stops you from noticing, and what to do about it.
- Self-employed
Is it wrong to charge for Reiki since the energy is not mine?
Charging for Reiki feels spiritually wrong to many practitioners. Here's what behavioural science says is actually happening in your head.
- Spending & shame
Why do I keep buying courses and planners hoping THIS one finally fixes everything?
You keep buying planners hoping this one fixes everything. That's not a willpower problem — it's your brain doing exactly what brains do under threat.
- Budgeting that sticks
Why do I avoid setting money goals because I'm scared I'll fail them again?
Scared to set money goals because you've failed before? Your brain learned that lesson on purpose. Here's what's actually happening — and one small way out.
- Behavioural basics
Why do I feel like everyone my age has money figured out except me?
Everyone else looks sorted with money. You're not broken — you're experiencing a cognitive illusion. Here's what's actually going on.
- Behavioural basics
Why do I trust random advice online more than my own money judgement?
You Google strangers' money tips but ignore your own gut. There's a name for that — and it's not stupidity.
- Behavioural basics
Is it too late to fix my finances in my 40s?
You're not behind. Your brain is just doing something predictable — and once you see it, the grip loosens.
- Behavioural basics
Why do I feel like I need to earn more before I'm allowed to relax?
That 'I'll relax when I earn more' feeling has a name — and understanding it might be the most useful thing you do today.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why do I always assume the worst about my financial future?
Your brain isn't broken — it's doing exactly what brains do under financial stress. Here's the science behind why you always fear the worst.
- Behavioural basics
Why am I too scared to invest even though I know I should?
You know investing makes sense. So why does opening that app feel impossible? The answer is in your brain, not your willpower.
- Self-employed
Why do I splurge in a good month and panic in a bad one?
You're not bad with money. Your brain is doing something specific with uncertain income — and there's a name for it.
- Self-employed
Why do I feel guilty charging what I'm actually worth?
You lower your prices, feel relief, then hate yourself for it. Here's the behavioural science behind why that loop is so hard to break.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why does sorting my finances feel impossible when everything else is already overwhelming?
When your brain is already full, money admin feels impossible — not because you're bad with money, but because of cognitive load science.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why do I freeze when I've got too many money decisions to make at once?
Freezing when money decisions pile up isn't weakness — it's your brain hitting a hard limit. Here's the science behind why, and one way out.
- Self-employed
How do I budget when I'm secretly worried about losing my income?
If income anxiety is making you avoid your budget entirely, your brain isn't broken. Here's what's actually happening — and one small thing to do instead.
- Budgeting that sticks
Why do I keep dropping every hobby, goal, and budget the moment the novelty wears off?
You start strong, then stop. This isn't a willpower problem — there's a behavioural reason your brain drops every budget the moment it stops feeling new.
- Anxiety & avoidance
How do I stop spiralling at work after I make one small mistake?
One small work mistake shouldn't ruin your whole day. Here's the brain science behind the spiral — and one small thing that actually stops it.
- Budgeting that sticks
Why do I want a budget app that shows what I have LEFT — not what I've spent?
You don't want a spending tracker. You want to know what's left. There's a real reason your brain works that way — and it's not a flaw.
- Spending & shame
Why is buying something I can clearly afford triggering this much guilt and remorse?
You can afford it. You bought it. So why does the guilt hit harder than the joy? The answer is in your brain, not your bank account.
- Behavioural basics
Am I doing money "right"? Why am I so terrified I'm getting it wrong?
That dread you feel around money decisions? It has a name — and it's not a character flaw. Here's what's actually going on in your brain.
- Spending & shame
How do I forgive myself for the years of irresponsible spending I'm still paying for?
Still paying for past spending mistakes? Your brain is wired to punish you for them — here's why that's making everything worse.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why does even the smallest money task feel like deadlifting 500 pounds?
If opening a bank app feels impossibly heavy, your brain isn't broken — there's a name for what's happening, and it's not laziness.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why do I lie about money to my friends and then feel worse?
You lie about money to protect yourself — then feel worse. Here's the psychology behind the shame loop, and how to quietly step out of it.
- Behavioural basics
Should I save for my kids' future or my own retirement first?
Torn between saving for your kids or your own retirement? Your brain isn't broken — it's doing something very human. Here's what's actually going on.
- Spending & shame
How do I stop accumulating subscriptions I never use?
You're not bad with money. Your brain is wired to keep subscriptions you hate — here's the science, and one small fix.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why is asking for a pay rise so terrifying when I know I deserve it?
You know you deserve more money. So why can't you ask? The answer isn't weakness — it's three specific brain quirks working against you.
- Self-employed
Why is doing my self-assessment the thing I dread most?
You dread your self-assessment more than the actual filing. Here's the brain science behind why — and what actually helps.
- Spending & shame
Why do I always blow my bonus, tax refund, or windfall money?
You got a bonus and somehow it's gone. No, you're not bad with money — your brain literally treats windfalls differently. Here's the science.
- Spending & shame
Should I say no when family asks me for money I can't afford?
Saying no to family money requests feels impossible — but it's not weakness. Here's what's really happening in your brain, and how to change it.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why do I feel like a failure at 25 with money?
Feeling like a failure at 25 with money? Your brain is wired to compare — and the comparison is rigged. Here's what's actually happening.
- ADHD & money
Can I rebuild my career after burnout at 40?
Burnt out at 40 and wondering if it's too late to start over? Your brain isn't broken — it's doing something very predictable. Here's what's actually happening.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why do I have £10k saved but still £10k in debt?
You've got savings AND debt at the same time. You're not bad with money — your brain is doing something very specific. Here's what's actually happening.
- ADHD & money
Why can't I keep a job with ADHD?
If ADHD keeps derailing your career and income, your brain isn't broken — it's running on a system that was never designed for you.
- Spending & shame
Why do I keep buying things that "future me" will deal with?
You're not lazy or broken — your brain is wired to treat future-you like a stranger. Here's the neuroscience behind impulse buying and what actually helps.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Is it normal to cry over money?
If money stress has ever made you cry, freeze, or spiral — you're not broken. Here's what's actually happening in your brain.
- Behavioural basics
Why do I feel poor even though I earn well?
You earn more than ever but still feel broke. It's not a money problem — it's a brain problem. Here's the science behind why.
- Behavioural basics
How much should I have saved by 30/35/40? (and why the answer is wrong)
The savings benchmarks everyone quotes are making you feel behind — here's why those numbers are wrong, and what actually matters instead.
- Behavioural basics
Why is talking about money with my family so hard?
Family money conversations feel impossible — and there's a real psychological reason for that. Here's what's actually happening in your brain.
- Anxiety & avoidance
How do I stop avoiding my financial admin (taxes, statements, bills)?
You're not lazy or bad with money — your brain is protecting you. Here's the psychology behind financial avoidance and one small step that actually helps.
- Spending & shame
Why do I feel guilty buying things I can afford?
You check the bank balance, see you can afford it, buy it anyway — and still feel terrible. Here's the science behind spending guilt (and why it's not your fault).
- Behavioural basics
Should I pay off debt or build savings first? (the actual answer)
The debt-vs-savings question has a maths answer and a brain answer. Here's why ignoring the second one is exactly why people get stuck.
- ADHD & money
I have ADHD — why is every budgeting app I try useless after a week?
ADHD brains don't fail budgeting apps — the apps fail ADHD brains. Here's the neuroscience of why, and what actually works.
- Behavioural basics
Why my partner and I spend differently — and how we stop fighting
Your partner isn't broken and neither are you. Here's the behavioral science behind why couples fight about money — and what actually helps.
- Self-employed
How do I budget when my income is different every month?
Traditional budgets assume a steady paycheck. If your income changes monthly, your brain needs a different system — one that works with uncertainty, not against it.
- Spending & shame
Why do I impulse buy when I'm stressed?
You're not weak-willed. Your brain treats shopping like a fire extinguisher for feelings. Here's the actual neuroscience behind stress spending.
- Budgeting that sticks
I keep starting budgets and giving up — what's wrong with me?
You're not failing at budgets because you lack willpower. You're fighting your brain's wiring. Here's what behavioral science says about why budgets collapse.
- Anxiety & avoidance
Why am I scared to check my bank account?
If looking at your balance makes your stomach drop, you're not broken — you're running a documented behavioral pattern called the ostrich effect. Here's what helps.
- Spending & shame
Why do I overspend right after payday?
You're not undisciplined — your brain treats fresh money differently. Here's the behavioral economics behind payday spending sprees.